When You Know Nothing About Your Partner’s Finances
It can get ugly — and it’s not a place we want you to be in. Money is the number one stressor when it comes to relationships. Several studies show that couples fight more about money than sex!
Finances play a huge role in all facets of our lives. As such, an open money conversation not only brings couples together but also eliminates one source of strife. But what if your partner is not willing to engage in that difficult conversation? This can be an uncomfortable situation to be in, more so if you are already committed to the relationship.
3 ways to help you start the money conversation with your partner
- Take baby steps
Ambushing your partner with gigantic financial talks can be demotivating, especially for a person who does not open up easily. Instead, take baby steps into the conversation.
For instance, do not start talking about taking a mortgage together as an initial conversation. Start with little but significant things such as discussing each other’s credit score, budgeting for one week’s meals, or the finances required for a one-day trip.
While such small conversations may feel insignificant, they strengthen the financial, mental and physical relationship. Small financial discussions eventually evolve to easier discussions on larger financial matters, whether buying houses or even having a kid.
2. The ‘what if’ strategy
This is a trick that I learned recently from my friend. And it applies to all aspects of life, not only finances. The ‘what if’ strategy is a clever way to bring in money conversations without being too overt. It is also a good way to understand your partner’s thinking about money, and the financial topics that they want to avoid.
One question that can help you understand your partner’s money psychology is- ‘What if you won the $300,000 lotto, what would you do with the money?’ or ‘If you lost your job today, how would you ensure your bills are paid on time?’
The key is to ask this in between your normal conversations.
3. Bring up your most recent money goals
Do not shy away from openly discussing your money goals with your partner. This could be anything from saving for retirement, holidays, setting up a new business or saving for an expensive gadget.
It is important to bring up such conversations without trying to intimidate your partner. While they are meant to help the money conversations, they can come off as intimidating.
To sum it up…
Money conversations are mandatory for healthy relationships. We always advise individuals to take their time to learn their partner before delving into the sensitive topic. Note — the earlier you have this conversation, the better. You do not want to wait for years only to find that you have differing money goals with your partner.
